A friend told me that I should tell others on my blog about the circumstances that led to my accepting Jesus as my personal Lord and Savior at the age of 38. I have shared my testimony with others before, but I was hesitant to put it on my blog. But as I sat at my computer thinking about it, I realized that God would want me to do so. In 1 Peter 3:15 we are told,
But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts, and always be ready to give a defense to everyone who asks you a reason for the hope that is in you, with meekness and fear;
This is the reason for telling others of your personal testimony. When I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior, my outlook changed and people could see a hope within me. When asked about this hope, I told them my personal testimony. I did not have a dramatic conversion or radical lifestyle change such as drug addiction, an abusive childhood or a life of crime. Rather, I never used drugs, I had two loving parents and I was working in law enforcement. I thought I was o.k. How wrong I was. My testimony, though not radical, is just as powerful as any testimony because it is the testimony of a life changed by Jesus. So here goes:
I was raised Catholic by two loving parents who as of this date have been married for over 50 years. I questioned the Catholic doctrine for as long as I can remember. Instead of getting satisfactory answers, I was often rebuked for asking the questions. It turned me off and I stopped attending church when I was in college. I attempted to return to the Catholic Church several times during my adult years, but the same questions persisted.
As I aged, I relied totally on myself and I discovered that I was totally lacking. During both my failures and successes in life, I knew that something was missing. I attempted to fill this emptiness with sports, work, hobbies, possessions, and occasional drinking. I knew Jesus was missing, but I didn’t know how to ask Him into my life. You see, I knew about Jesus from my Catholic upbringing, but I did not know Jesus personally.
God knew what I needed. He gave me a Christian partner at work. This partner began to turn the hard rock radio station I continually played in my car to a local Christian station (KWVE 107.9 in Southern California). I remember one instance vividly when we were on surveillance. She turned the radio to KWVE and Greg Laurie was speaking on his radio program, “A New Beginning.” I began to listen, but unfortunately, Greg was interrupted by an arrest.
I knew I needed to fellowship at a church, but did not know where to go. I liked what I heard from Greg Laurie on the radio, even though he was cut short by that arrest. I knew Greg was the pastor at Harvest Christian Fellowship in Riverside, California. However, I remembered driving by Harvest, which was then called Calvary Chapel of Riverside when I was in high school and college. When I drove by, I said, “I’ll never go in there!” I had negative preconceived ideas about those “Born Agains” at Calvary Chapel.
Despite these preconceived ideas, I found myself driving to Harvest on a Sunday morning. I almost turned around and went home as I sat in the long line of cars waiting to get in the parking lot before second service. I am not known for my patience with long lines. But something was pulling me into that parking lot. Besides, I was stuck in the line of cars with no way to get out so I parked and went into the sanctuary.
When I entered the sanctuary, I picked a seat as far back as possible in the balcony. I sat with my arms crossed determined not to be “suckered” in. Then the worship team began to sing and I became a little less tense. My arms began to loosen. Then Greg Laurie began to speak. My arms uncrossed and I leaned forward in rapt attention. Wow! God was speaking to me! The following Sunday I sat near the front row, but I had still not asked Jesus into my heart. I still thought I wasn’t that bad, that I was o.k. “After all,” I told myself, “it’s not like I am a drug addict or a criminal.” I still did not understand that I was a sinner in need of a Savior. I did not know what we are told in James 2:10:
For whoever shall keep the whole law, and yet stumble in one point, he is guilty of all.
Shortly after this, I was listening to Greg Laurie speak on the radio on my way to work. He spoke about my sins and how I was separated from God because of these sins. He spoke about my emptiness and that great big hole in my heart because I did not have a personal relationship with Jesus. It was as if Greg was speaking directly to me. I now know that it was God speaking directly to me through Greg. I pulled into the office parking lot and asked Jesus into my life as Greg led me in prayer.
I was not “suckered” in as I feared that first time I attended Harvest. Instead, I was loved by God who never gave up on me even though I had basically given up on Him.
My partner and I now make sure KWVE is tuned in when we have a handcuffed prisoner in the back of our car. We know that God speaks to these people through Greg Laurie and others as He did for me. We find that this is often a bridge to meaningful conversations with our somewhat captive audiences.
Don’t keep your testimony to yourself. You never know how God will use your personal testimony to reach others. Sometimes people like me are the hardest people to reach. We think we are o.k. because we live a somewhat moral life, we are successful in our careers, and we are fairly happy. We do not understand that a sin, no matter how small we think it may be, is still a sin in the eyes of God. Once we get over our bruised pride in realizing that we are truly sinners, we are hungry for forgiveness that can only be attained through Jesus, our Lord and Savior.
